Why?

I've debated for quite a while as to whether or not I wanted to keep a blog. My concerns have always been the same; I'm in a part of my life where my thoughts are still rather formative (read: in ten years I'll look back and think I was an idiot); often, I think I'm a lot more interesting than I actually am; I'm concerned that writing, especially on a medium that exposes you to the world, would been done more as an exercise of vanity, rather than one leading to humility and wisdom.

I suppose that my reasons for actually writing now are similar to those stated by Buechner in the previous post. Autobiography is a form of prayer. Radha and I have become more and more convinced that it is not the fantastic in life that matters most, rather, it is the ordinary, the details. James Joyce made the comment that, "literature deals with the ordinary; the unusual and extraordinary belong to journalism." The bulk of our days consist of menial tasks, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, saying hi to those we pass by, working. The tension arises when we become dissatisfied with this type of life because we yearn for some type of "super-spiritual" existence. We use words like "calling" and "purpose" (often poorly defined, if defined at all) which rarely seem to align with our daily activities and realities.

It's interesting to note that the majority of early church heresies (I'm thinking largely of Gnosticism, Manicheism, etc.) did not deny Christ's deity, but rather, they denied his humanity. These heresies adhered to a strict dualism that denied any value to the material, the ordinary (perhaps, the "secular"). Yet, in the miracle of the Incarnation, deity was united with humanity. The Second Person of the Trinity "came in the flesh," lived among us, ate food, washed feet, and wept. He did everyday, ordinary stuff.

We can spend a lot of time chasing after the spectacular, waiting for the next great moment. In the meantime I'm sure we miss a lot. The details are important. I'd like to pay attention to them, and hopefully in the process pay attention to God. I'd like to make autobiography prayer. That's why I'm going to take the time to share ordinary stuff. Pictures, stories, thoughts, movies, music. I'd like it to be more than entertainment. I hope that it forces me to see what God is doing in my life.

Buechner on Autobiography

Because the word that God speaks to us is always an incarnate word - a word spelled out to us not alphabetically, in syllables, but enigmatically, in events, even in the books we read and the movies we see - the chances are we will never get it just right. We are so used to hearing what we want to hear and remaining deaf to what it would be well for us to hear that it is hard to break the habit. But if we keep our hearts and minds open as well as our ears, if we listen with patience and hope, if we remember at all deeply and honestly, then I think we come to recognize, beyond all doubt, that, however faintly we may hear him, he is indeed speaking to us, and that, however little we may understand of it, his word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling. In that sense autobiography becomes a way of praying, and a book like this, if it matters at all, matters mostly as a call to prayer.

Frederick Buechner, Now & Again